Loss of Childhood
Welcome to the Advent Calendar Story Train, where you can read through 24 stories under this year's theme, Lost.
"Oh my girl, you look half dead,” Father said as we finished cleaning the exam room. “But you did a good job today."
"There seemed to be many more serious injuries than usual."
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yes, I will never understand why people think violence ever fixes things."
I knew the speech that came next by heart.
"I know your mother has been teaching you some exercises she used in her training, but I want you to run from danger, not jump into a fight. Has she taught you any fighting moves?"
"No, we are abiding your wishes. She just focuses on stretching and fluid movements."
"Good, good. I never want to see you on my table needing to be stitched up because you got into a fight."
"I know you just want me safe."
"Good. Well, we need food. Shall we head home?"
"Let me just start the sanitation cycle."
. . . . .
Flying over Eisley at night always makes me think of how first impressions aren't always correct. From here the city looks inviting, all the sparkling lights. But daily I help father patch up victims of robberies, domestic abuse and just random, impersonal attacks. My parents both want me safe. They just have different views on how to accomplish that. It's hard to see how a pacifist doctor and a Manduran royal guard ever ended up together. Somehow they make it work. I seem to be the only thing they ever really quarrel about.
"Hey, you sleeping already, we're here."
"Sorry, just lost in my thoughts."
"Well come on. I'm sure your mother has been holding dinner for us. You need to eat."
As we near our door, something immediately feels off. The door was slightly open. We always keep it locked.
"Willow, go back to the transport and lock yourself in."
"But …"
"Now!"
"Yes, sir."
The longer I wait, the more my stomach knots. I am no longer hungry. Finally I see father coming towards me. He looks shocked as he carries our emergency packs. I am relieved that he is carrying all three.
"We are heading to one of the fancy hotels by the spaceport. You are to stay in the room, lock the doors. Only open it for me."
"What about mom?"
"She's gone Willow."
"She wouldn't leave us, we need to let her know where we are."
"She's. . . D. ." He clears his throat. "Dead. You will stay in the room, all security features on. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, . . .yes."
We didn't speak as he got us a room or as we settled into it. Finally, as he started to leave, he said, "if I am not back in four hours, open the package labeled emergency in your mother's pack and follow the instructions exactly. I love you Willow."
"I love you too, Father."
I can't help pacing after he leaves. Questions run through my mind like, what happened to mom? Is dad just reacting to mom being gone, or is there more to it? If only I knew what was happening.
Then I remember my mini drone I still have from when I was little. I wonder if it still has power. Pulling out my data pad I find that my father paid for a data block on the room. Sometimes it feels like he wants to put me in a bubble, never interacting with others. After this I think he will isolate me more. I wonder if the room is soundproof? If I scream out my frustration, will I disturb others?
My stomach growls, reminding me that I haven't eaten in hours. Maybe a little rebellion would relieve my desire to scream and pull out my hair. I take my data pad and some of the money from my bag. The vending room is just down the hall so I won't be out of the room long. I may even be able to connect to my drone. I stop and grab my mom's bag, though I don't know why, maybe just wanting part of her close.
I leave the room and replace all the security features. The vending machines don't have anything healthy, but I don't really care. I go to my favorite treat, salty snacks and sweet drinks. I decide to eat here. Father would lecture me if he found the packaging. I sit on the floor between the machines and open my data pad. The data block doesn't extend here. I connect to my drone. It only has twenty five percent power, but the house isn't big.
Seeing the poor video quality, I remember why I stopped using it. But it is clear the house is wrecked. Broken dishes litter the kitchen, cupboards stand open and the knives were missing from the block. The salty flavor begins to taste revolting. Something very bad happened. But mom is a fighter. She has to be okay. Father must have assumed the worst.
I move the drone to the main room. I find more chaos. There is a blood trail to a man that has one of our kitchen knives in his neck. Bile starts to rise in my throat. I knew mom was a warrior, but I never imagined her killing someone.
Panning around I see more blood, broken furniture and father's medical books strewn across the room. I freeze the picture as I see my mother. Her eyes are open, unblinking. Her hand on her abdomen, only slightly obscuring the wound there. My blood runs cold as I comprehend the scene.
I startle when I hear voices. I don't want to see anyone. I feel too raw, yet numb at the same time.
"They are in room nine eight five. Full security. Fortunately, the data block will work in our favor."
"She may be as tough as Akis, don't assume anything.
I hear the security on the door disengage. They enter our room. I find it hard to breathe. What do I do? Hide here and hope they don't look? Run? But where could I go? My parents are the only people I am close to. The security forces prioritize crime that causes large financial losses. I should power down my data pad. It can be tracked. Breathe. Passing out is the last thing that will help. Deep breaths. Find my calm. I need to think clearly.
"Not here! Find them!" Huh, I guess the room is soundproof.
"Do you think they would return to the medical office? If I were them, I would keep a stash of stuff there."
"Makes sense to me."
"I don't care if it makes sense to the two of you! I just want to be done with this job! We've had too many losses already!"
"Yes, sir," they say in unison.
"Fine, move out. You better hope they are there. His voice tapers off as he returns to the exit.
I decide to grab the other two emergency bags and wait here for my father.
It feels like I've been waiting for hours when I finally hear my father's slightly unsteady gait.
"Father, we can't stay here." I tell him once I gain his attention.
"Why are you out of the room?" His face is becoming red, indicating how angry he is getting.
"There were three men who broke in. They said they would head to the office next."
"Well, I guess we have to board the ship I found, it isn't the best accommodations, but it will get us to Talia."
"Who's Talia?"
"It is a planet. Isolated, and needing a doctor. It is only a small settlement, so your vaccination issue shouldn't be a problem."
"We are leaving? What about getting justice for mom? Who would want to harm us?"
"You will forget about everything that happened here. Your mother is gone. Nothing can change that. We will start over on Talia."
"But "
"No! I salvaged what I could from home, it’s already stored aboard the ship. We leave now."
The quarters on the ship were cramped. Nothing more than a bed and small cubby that barely held a single change of clothes. Again father was silent, leaving me to replay all the questions I have. I need to stop ruminating on this. There are no answers. Father even blocked all the data pertaining to Eisley. I open the one bag I kept with me, trying to find something to distract me. My journal? Mom gave me this over a year ago. I never used it. Maybe writing will help.
I start with, “Today everything changed.”
